Just One Final Bite (The Fray Parody) | Young Jeffrey’s Song of the Week
Prepare your sweet tooths because it’s Girl Scout Cookie season! Instead of The Fray’s “How to Save A Life” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Just One Final Bite!”
Lyrics:
They hunt near the Grocery Shops…
They rock berets like tiny French Black Ops…
And By the Doors They’ll wave at you
But don’t lock eyes, or you’ll be screwed
They’ll Sell you cookies so devine
Mrs. Fields would turn To Crime
Ya Bought a Box, or so it Seemed…
Wonder how you left with Seventeen?!
Thought I’d Stop at One
But can’t Resist
Woke up in a Graveyard of Thin Mints!
Got empty boxes clutched, to me so tight
Keep Swearing “Just One Final Bite…”
(om nom nom nom)
(“Uh, where did all my Thin Mints go?”)
Promise you I’m not depressed
I just enjoy Samoas for Breakfast
At the Office, I Decompress
Hiding Boxes in the drawers of my WORK Desk
I felt a chill & knew Something’s wrong
Just ran out of Tagalongs
Sugar Cravings shake you
Til your sobbin’ in the Break Room!
I Ran out to my car
I need a Fix
Just point Me, to the Nearest Albertsons
I’m searching for Girl Scouts, to Re-supply
Just Prayin’ that School Got Out on Time
ding dong
“Oh My God! Mom! The Girl Scouts are Here! Hurry!”
So many Cookies I’ve Enjoyed
My Finances, have fully been Destroyed
On the Side of a busy road,
Holdin’ a sign that says “I’ll Work For Do-Si-Dos”
So I asked a girl Scout to Trade
Gave her my watch, for Lemonades
Their Toast Yays! made me Go Insane
Now if Cookies were a Drug, I’m Kurt Cobain!
Thanks to Lemon-Ups
My Girlfriend’s Mad
Won’t Share, the Sleeve that I Brought to Bed
She Said she’s in the Mood, but I Declined
Chose TreFoils, over Sexy Time
Each & Every Box
Has got “the Rizz”
So Good, the Cookie Monster Relapses
And I’ve Purchased so much S’mores online
They blocked me from the Girl Scout’s Site
“Uhhh, why have the Girls Scouts of America Blocked you?”
No, THAT’S the reason why…
(It’s not for anything like weird, i just bought too many cookies… i promise)
Cuz Cookies run my Life
I can not stay strong,
With Each Purchase
They Load my trunk, With a Fork-Lift
And I would Scrounge for Crumbs, in Desperate Times
Inside my Roomba’s a Gold Mine!
Once they hit your Tongue
You’ll be Obsessed
Even Gretchen Weiners called these cookies “Fetch!”
And if some rat came up to steal a Bite…
Just Know I’m ready for a Fight…
Just throwing Hands with Mice…
(om nom nom nom)
Just one Final Bite…
