Source: YouTube

Congratulations class of 2024, now you’re stuck here in the real world with the rest of us! Instead of Drake’s “God’s Plan” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Grad’s Plan!”

4 Year Mission, Been Itching & Wishing,
Finishing This College Degree… Yuh


Tossed My Cap & Gown Up, Felt Amazing to Me
Thought that this Diploma’d be the Ace that i Need
But not a Single Job is Touching Bases with Me…
Why’d I get this Dumb Communications Degree?

ZipRecruiter Knew that I was Bluffin’
My Resume got Written by Chat-GPT
Thought it might be fun Apartment Hunting…
To see the Cost of Rent, You’ll Need a Xanax or Three

Grad’s Plan, Sad Land…
Split the Lease with friends I Know (Roommates, Yuh)
4 Dudes in one Studio (Tight Space, uh)
Mom still Payin’ for my Phone (She Don’t Mind, Nah)
Got my Furniture For Free, (Scooped it Up, yeh)
Off the Side of Highway 3 (Like Yoink, what?)
Sanitized it with Febreeze (Tss, Tss)
But Still

Dad’s Things,
Lotta Mom & Dad’s things that I Mooch like Insurance & Passwords for Netflix & Hulu Mainly
… and MAX… and Disney Plus! yuh

Plant Things
Bought a lot of Saplings that I Watered & Pampered, And Still they All shriveled & Died in a Week
…. How!? I don’t… How?!?

Never learned to cook, ‘less we’re talking Macaroni
My Fridge is Full of Booze, and a packet of Year-Old Bologna!
Student Loans, I Got More debt than a Small Country
Got me Owing More Money than P. Diddy Will be
Freedom Ain’t Free!
Diploma Shoulda Come with a GoFundMe Yuhh,
Tried to Plan my Budget with a Spread Sheet
But the QUICKEN Program took a Look & Killed Itself

Boss Man, No Fan
Now they work me to the Bone, (9-to-5, Ayy)
Can’t Watch Tik Toks on my Phone? (It Ain’t Right, Nah)
These Millennials So Old (Skinny Jeans, Ew)
Talk in Weird Office Lingo (“Circle Back”, Yuck)
Geeking out on Synergy (Syner- Huh? What?)
For Real…

I’ll Take,
All the money I make, and I’ll use IT, to Party & Bar Hop,
And go out to Brunch Every Week (Mimosas, Avocado Toastes! Yuh)
Puke Stains…
Got a Little Neck Pain
That I’m Feeling from Sleeping, while Passed Out
On Floors next to Friend’s Toilet Seats

(Yuh, Bachelor of Arts, Flex!)

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